dissed at the dance: a backyard fairy tale
Cordelia Hanemann
this morning, the feeder moves
in my back yard           spilling 
seed onto the hard ground
that grows mostly rocks 
and the rare weed
long-beaked crow, 	   black 
sentinel with one white eye, 
lords over the feeder
—my small bridge
to the garden
he and i had always done
the first and last dance together
but not last night
white butterflies flutter
about the cat mint
black crow caws
its white-rimmed eye
frightens the sparrows
making a new kind of silence
he tendered his apology [<Gk apologia]
	      logos:   word/ what's in a word?
1. A statement expressing regret
     Or asking pardon for a fault
           or offense
2. A formal justification 
     Or defense
3. An inferior substitute
white cat—troll-keeper
of the bridge—crouches
in red blossom residue
under the defunct hibiscus 
green eyes watching
“dissed at the dance”   Cordelia Hanemann/ no stanza break
sparrows 	    crow
the unfledged fledgling
should i write poems for him, 
letters	        letters of connection
dis	      con	     neck	    shun
what’s in a dance?
how do i recover?
re-cover 	    w[re]ck	         over
o	     ver: 	    to turn
versatile 	    aversion	         turn away
verse		    poem	   him	  word that i love
can he save me	          LLL	  (over)
black crow splaying birds
playing under the sprinkler
spray on the lawn, 
spay the white cat 
cut 	      her	     o	      pen:
	      1. prison
	      2. writing implement
tool      what tools belong
in the kitchen		     nursery
bedroom
in the black house 
that once belonged to my
mmmmm 	      (other)
black crow with the big beak
dispersing birds of another feather
altogether 	     piles of feathers
on the hard ground that grows 
rocks	 the rare weed
wisteria vine     racing to the finish
line      climbing the tall
pine 		     beat out the spade
king of spades 	           eats the pie
four and twenty black birds
hiding 		     feefyefoefum i smell 
blood			          our son growing 
weed	      in the backyard
under the bird feeder
“dissed at the dance” Cordelia Hanemann/ new stanza
keeps me	     on edge 
honed 	    hunter watching 
for signs 	    in those red eyes
listening in his music
for the cadence of chaos
it is my music that lives
hides    dies     in his sins
dies irae	     do i need those sins
to feel like a mother
MMM		      (other)
it’s 95 degrees outside burning 
where 		     six months ago
snow collected in drifts
now three birds 	   dance 
in the birdbath while the white
cat	      hunts    watches
listens for birdsong
i hear another music
no words can touch
learn to dance alone
Cordelia Hanemann is currently a practicing writer and artist in Raleigh, NC. Her work has appeared in numerous journals: Mainstreet Rag, Connecticut River Review, and Laurel Review; anthologies, Well-Versed Reader, Heron Clan IV and Kakalak; in her chapbook, Through a Glass Darkly. Recently featured poet for Negative Capability Press and The Alexandria Quarterly, she is working on a first novel about her Cajun roots.
